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The continuing adventures of Jack Lightfoot
Technomage is author Clayton Bye's second installment of the dark fantasy FROM EARTH TO EDEN.
Pursued by a cyborg sorcerer and the devil himself, Jack Lightfoot is forced to give up all that is human in an effort to find a way to stop the destruction of both Earth and Eden.
Advance Praise for Technomage
Authonomy is a Harper Collins competition site designed to flush out new talent. I found the process too time consuming to fit into my life and have left the site. The following are comments collected from other Authonomy authors while I participated in the project...
Clayton, this is tight work.
Economical and precise.
Very clear imagery.
Great flow. Didn't get snagged once or forced into a re-read.
Clayton - I have been shuddering at the first two chapters of your book. Horrible, horrible stuff but you do it very well!
I wanted to write to you and tell you that I think your "Eden to Earth" series is great. I am just a bit curious if there is a way, or if you plan to, make it so that I can read more than the first eleven chapters of Sorcerer's Key. Thank you, and again, keep up the great work.
The pitch for Technomage is brilliant, I am very interested seems just like my kind of thing :) I will read it and get back to you before I go to the land of slumber, on my WL! If you get a chance to return the read that would be great, but don't feel obliged as I am reading yours purely out of interest in the blurb!
I hated this. But it is extremely well written. I won't be back for more but you deserve to be shelved for your ability to write this well.
As promised, I've read sections of First Draft of Technomage. I found the writing powerful, amongst some of the best I've read on this site. The story itself is vivid and effortlessly pulls the reader in. This said, the one fault I have found is that some of the story is disjointed and has a half finished feel and I ended up confused on a couple of occasions. I assume it's because it IS a draft-or am I wrong? In any event this is the only thing stopping me from Shelving what is potentially a top rank novel. If I am right and you do plan to re-write sections, let me know and I'll definitely look at it again -which is something I rarely say I'll do, purely because of the horrendous time constraints being on here places us all under!
Hi CC, Great start, intrigue, horror and sympathetic mains. I like the descriptive style of your writing, the early work on shadows in chapter 1 was particularly effective. You write menace well, there is a real sense of the untoward in that first chapter. The narrative is well constructed, surreality breaks out in chapter 2 and the imaginative dimension of your books rachets up a few notches, great beginning, I would read on if there was only time, best wishes and good luck.
Enjoyable read. I also like books that are part of a longer series. It helps to keep me going with a group of characters I've come to enjoy. Is From Earth to Eden a published work, or another work on this site?
As for the book itself, as many others have pointed out, the writing style suits the genre, and keeps the reader going without needlessly getting offtrack. I have no issues with the pacing.
clayton, your book is way outside my comfort zone but the relationship between the brother is poignant - also the nicely judged reference to the lost sister. happy to shelve this.
I read until the end of Chapter 3 and I have to applaud you for the vivid description, smooth writing and great pacing. The characters are also intuitively observed and the setting is colourful.
Your usage of dialogue is effective. Narrative is good and the plot is compelling. I will get back to the other chapters. I also like the pacing. Worthy of shelf space.
All the best.
Gripping, chilling and compelling. Economical writing at its best. Straight to the point, absolutely nothing surplus, and boy when you plant those hooks into your reader they go deep and don't let go. Shelved.
Wow Clayton, this is so far removed from a fairy tale. I love the imagery and the stark reality of Richards world. Somewhere deep in this is the true struggle between the good and evil of this world. Great job, the writing is flawless and the story is captivating. I would never begin to say I could find anything wrong with this. If I were an editor, this would be published already.
I shelved you last night since I was very impressed but have only just had chance to come back and comment. You have a powerful imagination and a unique world view, which combine to give your work depth and layers that are unsettling and enthralling in equal measure. I don't agree with the earlier comment about this being 'confusing' as a 'book 2', to me it stands alone as a compelling and well written piece, I wasn't lost by the narrative.
What is the speed of dark? That question was the first of many in this fabulous, imaginative book. We meet Tim and Richard, very much the typical little brother, big brother relationship. However, we learn early on that there was nothing typical about the relationship with mom. Richard has a memory about her, how she locked them down, how she wanted somebody (but who?) gone by dark.
In all this suspense, there is humanity - something touching and sweet between the boys. Tim asks Richard, "Can you make me not afraid? Can you make it so I don't have to go into the dark?" Then it's Richard who cries. He sends Tim to the window, to feel the sun on his face, but that warmth will be gone. They cannot escape the darkness. The boys have a problem. They need to get out. They can't wait for it to come. But what? And then, there's the question of sister Becky. She'd defied mother, I presume. But what did she do and how did she die?
This chapter is well written, a nice mix of narrative and dialogue. Everything is in place. There is certainly suspense, many questions, many hooks. There is also the draw of the affection between these two brothers, their lost sister, and the mystery I still don't understand about the mother. Does this compel me to read on?
Absolutely! I think it's a fabulous beginning, and I will return for more. First, let me place this on my shelf and say congratulations. The book promises to be hot.
The first thing I noticed about this was that itís very well written. Believable dialogue and well drawn characters. You have some beautiful sentences that seem like poetry. E.g. in Chap 2. It reached down into Richardís memories and pulled him back to the light. Wonderful description.
So far, what Iíve read is intriguing. It grabbed my attention and held it.
Hello, Clayton - with sincerest apologies for late arrival. This was a cracking little opening sir. Loved the short pitch; I'd re-think the long pitch to tell us some more about the *story* rather than how 'interesting' its characters are; but the opening chpt is fab. Straight in with some snappy dialogue (phrased in a lovely, colloquial manner: "doesn't have a speed") and otherwise flowing effortlessly. Shelved, natch. Best of luck with it
This is a very interesting beginning. As a sequel, however, I think you need to give the reader a little more help at the start. If you began, 'Both boys allowed their gaze to follow...' I would have had a clear visual that I could have fitted the story into. The idea of the implacable dark and the horrendous Mother is very strong. Worthy of a spin on the shelf.
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